


Confessions

by NeverHadThePlot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, James is a twat, M/M, Marauders Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverHadThePlot/pseuds/NeverHadThePlot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius makes a very difficult confession to James, who reacts badly. When Remus finds out he gives Sirius a confession of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

“Can we talk a minute Prongs?” Sirius asked. James looked up from his essay to see Padfoot shifting nervously in front of him, his face pale, like he was going to be sick.

“Sure,” James agreed, collecting his stuff and following Sirius into a disused classroom. “So, what’s up?” he asked, perching on a desk.

Sirius took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.” His eyes flickered up at James, then fixed themselves on his shoes.

“Okay,” James said slowly, suddenly worried at his friend’s nervousness.

“Okay,” Sirius parroted, nodding. Then he failed to say anything else.

“Sirius?” 

“Okay. Please don’t freak out. Butthethingisimgay,” he said the last part in a rush so that James couldn’t keep up.

“What?” he asked, bewildered.

Sirius flushed bright red, took another calming breath, then looked up to meet James’ eyes. “I’m gay.”

James snorted. “No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” Sirius insisted, his face pale again as he looked at his best friend earnestly.

“Cut it out Pads. You’re not a fucking shirt-lifter.” James dropped his humour at once upon seeing his friend’s expression.

“I am James. God please don’t freak out on me,” he begged, taking a step towards him.

But James leapt from the table, anger clouding his expression. “You’re not a fucking fag Sirius. It’s wrong. You know it is.”

Sirius recoiled as if he’d been punched. “James-” Words seemed to fail him.

James shook his head in disgust, the look of contempt he gave Sirius rivalling even that of one he’d throw at Snape. “I’m going back to the dorm. Don’t fucking come back till you sort your head out.”

With that he spun on his heel and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Sirius flinched at the sound. His legs started shaking and his stomach lurched. He launched himself from the room and into the nearest bathroom before he emptied his stomach into a toilet. He curled up into a ball where he’d fallen, trying to control the shaking and the panicked thoughts rattling around in his head telling him that his best friend couldn’t accept him for who he was. Just like his family. Maybe he really was unlovable. He’d accepted Moony as a werewolf instantly, but the possibility of Padfoot liking blokes… His stomach rolled again and he forced his face back over the toilet.

…

James stormed into the dorm, banging the door against the wall, startling Peter awake and causing Remus to look up from his book.

“Everything alright Prongs?” Remus asked, mildly curious as he watched James pacing across the room.

“Do you know what Padfoot just told me?” he asked, all pent up aggression. 

“What?” Peter asked, slightly scared at James’ anger.

“He told me he’s a fucking shirt-lifter,” he said throwing up his arms in frustration.

“And you, being his best friend, were completely reasonable and supportive?” Remus asked mildly, though he knew it was unlikely given his friend’s anger and propensity for blowing things wildly out of proportion.

“Reasonab- He’s a fucking fag Remus!” James said, stopping at the foot of his bed to glare at him.

“So?” Remus asked, putting his book down and crossing his arms. “You accepted that I was a werewolf without blinking.”

“That’s different. Why aren’t you freaking out about this?” James asked indignantly.

“How is this different?” Remus asked, ignoring the last part.

“You didn’t choose to be a werewolf Remus.”

“And you think he chose to be gay?” Remus asked incredulously. “Think about it Prongs, his life is already full of people who hate him because of prejudice, why would he choose to add more to the mix?”

“I- He- It’s probably just another one of his stunts,” James gritted out.

“Oh for Christ’s sake James!” Remus exploded, getting to his feet. “He’s gay. Did it ever occur to you how fucking hard it was for him to admit that to himself? To you? Please tell me you didn’t yell all of this bullshit at him? You know how much your approval means to him.”

James stared at him, surprised at the sudden anger displayed by his normally calm and benign friend. He swallowed and squared his jaw. “He’s a poofter Moony. It’s just wrong.”

Remus sighed, letting all the tension drain from his frame. “You’re such a pureblood sometimes James.” Prongs blinked, not sure if he was supposed to take offense. “If you have a problem with Pads, then you have a problem with me too. Homosexuality is not a choice, it’s a part of who we are.”

With that he pushed passed James and barged out of the room.

James froze, blinking at the shut door. He turned to face Peter, who looked just as dumbfounded.

“Did you know about this?” James demanded.

Peter swallowed and met his eyes. “No mate, but I gotta tell you, you’re being a prat.”

…

Remus followed Sirius’ faint scent through the halls till he came to the fifth floor boy’s lavatory. Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open and called out, “Pads, you in here?”

There was a shuffling sound from the end cubical. He sighed and walked towards it slowly, pausing outside the door. He knocked quietly. “Pads, are you okay?”

“Go away Remus,” Sirius mumbled, his voice cracking.

“Siri I just wanted to see if you were okay. I saw Prongs.”

“Come to gloat at the freak?” Sirius asked bitterly.

“No Pads. Prongs is being a twat. He’ll come round when he gets over himself. He won’t risk losing his two best friends over this.”

“What do you mean?” Padfoot asked in a small voice.

Remus nudged the door open gently. Sirius was sat with his knees to his chest, his face buried in them as his frame shook with tears.

Remus slid along the wall to sit beside him and wrapped an arm around him. “I told him if he had a problem with you then he had a problem with me. Us shirt-lifters gotta stick together.”

Sirius lifted his head at that and searched Remus’ face. “You too?” he whispered.

“Yeah Pads,” Remus said, smiling. He reached up to wipe the tear tracks from his friends face. Sirius gave him a watery smile. “C’mon, let’s go back to the dorm,” he said, holding his hand out.

“But James said not to go back.” He shrunk in on himself.

“Yeah, well James is a twat, and we outnumber him so he can piss of or get over himself.”

Sirius let out a small laugh. “What’s got into you Moony?” 

Remus got to his feet, pulling Sirius up with him.

“I’m fed up with people being dicks about things neither of us can control. I got so used to Prongs accepting your surname and my lycanthrope that I never even considered he’d have a problem with this.”

“So you knew?”

Remus shrugged. “I suspected. Or, maybe I hoped.”

Sirius stopped walking and stared at him wide-eyed. “Hoped?” he whispered.

Remus blushed and Sirius felt warmth bloom through him. “I may have a crush on you Siri.”

Sirius grinned. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Remus said, hope blooming in his chest at the expression on Sirius’ face.

“I may have a crush on you too Rem,” he whispered.

Remus felt a grin break out across his face and he wrapped a hand around Sirius’ waist, pulling him closer. He brought their faces together, whispering, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” against his lips, before pulling him into a kiss.

…

They walked back to the dorm side by side, looking at each other from the corners of their eyes and trying to control their blushing cheeks and giddy smiles.

The smile fell from Sirius’ face as they reached the dorm door and he froze, scared to go in. Remus rested a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll come round,” he said again.

Sirius took a deep breath and nodded. They walked through the door together and James immediately stood up.

“Pads,” he said quietly. Sirius looked up at him hesitantly and Remus remained close, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at James. “I. I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t mess around like that. I know it can’t’ve been easy for you to admit that to me and I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I’m going to try to get over my prejudices, okay?”

Sirius let out a breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “Thanks Prongs. I- you’re opinion matters, a lot, to me. And it hurts that you’re so disgusted by it. But thank you for apologizing.”

James nodded and turned to Remus. “Moony, I-”

“Forget it James.” Remus shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

“Let’s all just go to bed shall we?” Peter suggested. There was a murmur of assent and they all got ready for bed, James disappearing into the bathroom to change.

They watched him go with a heavy feeling in their guts.

“Are you two dating?” Pete whispered once he had gone.

They glanced at him in surprise. “What?” Remus asked.

Peter shrugged. “Seemed like the logical progression.”

They grinned at him. “Let’s save that bombshell for when he gets over this one, yeah?” Sirius said.

Peter’s eyes lit up at the information. “Yeah, sure. Congratulations though guys.”

They both blushed.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own harry potter or any of the characters.


End file.
